


fire extinguisher

by harumeno



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Agender Chara (Undertale), Agender Frisk (Undertale), Character Study, Gen, POV Second Person, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Post-Undertale Soulless Pacifist Route, Sharing a Body
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-08
Updated: 2019-09-08
Packaged: 2020-10-12 06:36:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20559866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/harumeno/pseuds/harumeno
Summary: Three years, four months, and nineteen days have passed since the Barrier was shattered for good, and it hasn’t gotten any easier. Three years of sharing a body with a dead child that Toriel coincidentally took pity on and adopted once upon a time.I told you to stop being weird about me.





	fire extinguisher

**Author's Note:**

> so last week I bought undertale for switch (right before it went on sale...) and now we're here. 
> 
> for someone who doesn't have the heart to do a no mercy run themselves, I sure am obsessed w/ soulless pacifist.

Mornings are always quiet. You always awaken just before dawn, with a pain in your stomach and a throb in your head. Light does not yet shine through your curtains, but you look in the direction of the window anyways. There are faint traces of dew on the panes.

Chara won’t be awake for another few hours. You sit up and rub your hair, then unplug your phone. No texts. Not really much of a surprise. You flick through a website or two, and roll out of bed.

Toriel’s already awake, and is cooking something that smells magnificent. Your lips curl into a weak smile as you descend the stairs. How she manages to be up even earlier than you is a mystery.

“Good morning, my child,” Toriel greets gently from the stove, “Did you sleep well?”

You try to speak, but your voice never works for you. After a couple, painful attempts, Toriel turns around so you can sign to her.

_ “As well as usual. I guess.” _

Actually, Chara was awake for half the night, bouncing around in your head. Usually, they conk out long before you even get into bed, so you’re not exactly well rested. Not that Toriel knows about that. And won’t ever find out, as long as you both can help it.

“Do you have plans for the day?” Toriel asks.

You reply, _ “Papyrus wants to go to the bingo hall again.” _

Toriel chuckles. “And I take it you plan to accompany him. Well, be safe, my dear. Be home for dinner! We are having snail pie.”

**Joy.**

You nearly jump out of your chair. Luckily, you’re able to disguise the expression on your face quickly enough, but your heart doesn’t stop racing. You hurry back to your room to get dressed before breakfast is ready. Also, because you now have someone to argue with.

_ I thought you were asleep. _

**Nah. I just learned the art of sitting still. You should try it sometime.**

_ Thanks, Chara. _

**Love you too.**

You shake your head and pull on an oversized sweater. Really, what else would either of you wear, ever? It’s the only thing that covers the scars.

_ Why were you so annoyed, anyways? You _ ** _like_ ** _ snail pie. _

**Sure, ** ** _I_ ** ** do. But this is your frail stomach we’re talking about. You think I enjoy being hunched over the toilet at midnight?**

That feels like a dig. You don’t reply and instead trudge back to the kitchen.

**Hey. Come on, Frisk. I didn’t mean it like that.**

_ Then how _ ** _did_ ** _ you mean it? _

Chara doesn’t respond. You grit your teeth, but let them take over when Toriel places a plate of French toast in front of you. Already, you feel nervous about eating, and the sun’s only barely poking over the horizon.

Such is a fact of life. Chara eats, clears their plate, and dutifully thanks Toriel for her hard work. It’s a little over the top, but really, you weren’t expecting anything different. Sometimes you wonder if it’s weird for them, to be living with their mother so many years after their death. Especially since Toriel has no idea Chara is inside your head.

**You realize that I can hear your every thought, right? **

_ Yeah? And? _

**So stop being weird and pensive about me. I’m dealing.**

_ Are you really? _

**Yes. Shut up.**

You shut up and let Chara walk. They’re in a bad mood now, so it might just be easier to let them be in total control. A cranky Chara who complains into your ear about every action is just tiresome.

“Take care, my child,” Toriel says softly, kissing you on the forehead as Chara struggles to get their boots on.

(They’re Chara’s boots because they’re soft, leather, and don’t have Mettaton’s face on them.) 

“Always,” Chara wheezes out through rusty vocal chords. They’ve always preferred to speak when they can, while you would do anything to avoid it.

It’s kind of weird and uncomfortable, but those are adept adjectives for your entire life at this point. Toriel takes it in stride as she always does, and it drives you insane. She should not be this accepting of whatever the hell is going on right now.

Three years, four months, and nineteen days have passed since the Barrier was shattered for good, and it hasn’t gotten any easier. Three years of sharing a body with a dead child that Toriel coincidentally took pity on and adopted once upon a time.

**I told you to stop being weird about me.**

_ You are inherently weird. I cannot think about you without it getting weird. _

**So stop thinking about me. Genius, I know.**

_ We have this conversation every three days. _

**And maybe I’m sick of it! Maybe I’m sick of being treated like ** ** _I’m_ ** ** some kind of fucked up mistake!**

_ I didn’t ask you to possess me. _

**I didn’t ask you to land on my grave.**

The conversation ends there. You grab the reins back and go meet Papyrus at the bus stop.

The first time, you panicked and killed a Froggit by accident. Then, only moments later, another appeared and killed you too.

Chara wasn’t there, then. Chara was dead in the ground under the golden flowers that they loved so dearly. In fact, Chara wasn’t there for a long time. You took everyone to the surface alone. You lived and died and fought and spared with no voice in your head but your own.

You don’t remember when they decided to worm their way inside you, and you don’t really want to. If you remember where it started, you’ll find a way to hate them for it. 

You know they were there when killing was no longer an accident. You know they saw the dust on your hands and encouraged you to move forwards, to destroy the entire Underground.

On bad days, you can’t even think of your friends, because you’ll only be able to see their bodies weakly disintegrating in front of you. On bad days, you black out and Chara owns the body. You usually wake up fine. Sometimes, your Mettaton poster has more weird graffiti on it. Chara’s never liked him very much. Too flashy.

On rare occasions, though, you wake up in the middle of nowhere, and Chara is strangely silent. It takes forever to get back home, and to explain to Toriel what happened, which is always some garbled variation of ‘I fell asleep by accident and my phone died.’

You don’t know what happens when Chara is completely alone. You’re not sure you want to. They’re not a bad person, and most of the time, the two of you get along. But you still worry. Because they hated humanity. Because Asriel admitted they weren’t as nice as he liked to believe. Because they climbed Mount Ebott for the same reason you did. 

Because they were the one who convinced you to kill.

“BINGO!” Papyrus shouts, accidentally knocking his dabber off the table. Purple ink stains the beige floor. Not like it’s the first time this has happened, but Chara always winces inside of you.

They probably like Papyrus the most out of all your friends, which is unfortunate because they’ve informed you on several occasions that he’s irritating. It’s hard to say. Undyne makes them nervous, and Alphys sends them into a meltdown. Napstablook is ‘too shy’, Burgerpants ‘smells like nicotine’, and Mettaton just pisses them off.

And they hate Sans. But that was easy to accept, considering the chain of events that brought you both to this shitty little bingo hall at ten in the morning. There’s nobody else here under 70.

Sans knows. Or at least, he suspects. Suspects that something is obscenely wrong with Toriel’s screwed up kid who just can’t decide if they like spaghetti or not. Can’t decide if they prefer butterscotch or cinnamon.

(Can’t decide if they’re homicidal or suicidal.)

One of the volunteers looks over Papyrus’ bingo sheet and gives him a gold star sticker. The skeleton beams with pride. He has 49 of these.

Chara’s getting restless. Twitching around, trying to get full control. They can’t quite snatch it, though they do succeed in ruining your bingo sheet. It’s fine. You’re mostly here to hang out with Papyrus. Hopefully they’ll get over whatever’s driving them up the wall soon. If not…

Well, you’ll just have to roll with the punches. That’s how it goes.

_ “Want to come over for dinner? It’s snail pie.” _

You don’t really think before extending the invitation. Toriel has always welcomed anyone and everyone into the house (save Asgore, who hasn’t tried) for a meal. She always makes far too much food anyways. Something about how growing children need their nutrients. You suppose that it’s useful, since you’re two growing children in one head.

Papyrus scratches his chin. “HOW THOUGHTFUL! I WILL HAVE TO CHECK WITH SANS TO SEE IF WE CAN MAKE IT.”

**They didn’t invite Sans.**

_ Yes I did. Just because you don’t like him doesn’t mean that— _

**Ugh! You know he’s going to figure us out, if he hasn’t already. Is that what you want? Do you want mom to know?!**

_ He’s my friend. And if he hasn’t realized by now, he never will. _

**You’re so stubborn.**

_ It’s not like I can just avoid him. _

**Sure you can. It’s not that hard. All you have to do is not ** ** _invite him into our house._ **

_ Chara? _

**What?**

_ Please shut up. _

They do, somehow. During this time, Papyrus has been rambling about something, and you desperately try to jump back in like you haven’t been arguing with the ghost in the machine.

“I THINK WE SHOULD TAKE UNDYNE TO PLAY BINGO,” Papyrus is saying, “SHE MIGHT ENJOY THE EMOTIONAL INTENSITY.”

_ “I feel like she’d throw a bingo dabber at an old lady,” _ you sign, chuckling slightly at the image. _ “I don’t think this is her forte.” _

Papyrus pouts. “IT’S TRAGIC. SHE WOULD LOVE HUMAN PUZZLES IF SHE EVER GAVE THEM A CHANCE.”

“Just because you do, d—“ Chara starts to speak and you desperately cut them off.

Papyrus thankfully doesn’t notice. “EXACTLY! I GAVE COOKING A CHANCE BECAUSE OF HER, SO SHE SHOULD AT LEAST TRY A PUZZLE! PREFERABLY WITHOUT BURNING IT TO THE GROUND.”

You picture the jigsaw puzzle they showed her last Christmas. The house smelled like candy canes for a week after she set the pieces ablaze.

_ “Maybe,” _You settle on that statement. It seems to satisfy Papyrus.

Chara doesn’t say anything for a week. You start to worry that you’ve driven them away somehow.

It’s weird, suddenly having your thoughts and head to yourself. Not having to restrain a word or random movement at an inopportune moment. The silence is a little bit maddening. You try calling out to them, but get no response. At first you think that maybe they’re just angry with you for inviting Sans over. But the lack of contact is nerve wracking.

What if they just left? Left you alone to function with thirty different timelines of terrible things you did to your closest friends?

So, when they speak to you out of the blue, you nearly throw the dishes in your hand.

**It’s my birthday.**

_ Chara?! What the hell?! _

**Nice to see you too.**

_ You went completely off the radar! I thought something happened! _

**Hey, you told me to shut up. I was just following orders.**

_ ...I… _

_ Happy birthday. _

**Thanks. It sucks.**

_ Let me guess, that’s somehow my fault. _

**Not really, for once. I just… Mom always made my favourites to eat, and all of us hung out and had fun together.**

_ And now… _

**And now I’m dead. And possessing her newest pity project.**

_ Stop calling me that. _

**Why should I? It’s accurate.**

_ It’s mean. And you wouldn’t be here right now without this ‘pity project.’ _

**You think I’m not aware of that?**

“Frisk, my dear?” Toriel pokes her head into the kitchen. “You have been staring at the sink for a long time. Is something the matter?”

**Shit. Act natural.**

_ Easy for you to say! _

You quickly flash a smile and awkwardly sign as best you can while still holding a plate. _ “Got lost in thought. Alphys is getting me invested in Mew Mew.” _

Toriel chuckles. “Ah… She does enjoy that quite a bit. I am glad it has made you happy too! But please do not forget to wash your plate.”

_ “Yeah, I’m on it! Don’t worry!” _

Toriel seems satisfied and heads back upstairs.

**Nailed it.**

_ She’s going to find out one of these days. _

**Not if I have anything to say about it. It’s better if she forgets that I ever existed.**

_ I don’t think she could ever forget about you. She loved you so much. _

**...Thanks.**

_ What do you want for your birthday? _

**Oh. Uh. Hm.**

_ We could go to that nice chocolate store in town you like. _

**Tempting, but…**

_ But? _

**Can I take over? I have an idea.**

An idea. Ideas are always stressful when Chara is involved. But it’s their birthday, and they did just spend the last seven days in dead silence.

_ Okay. But don’t do anything stupid. _

There’s only one flaw here. Sometimes, when you let Chara take over, you dissociate a bit. Or a lot, in this case. Everything’s blurred and foggy, and when you snap back to reality, it’s while driving a hundred kilometres an hour down the highway.

_ Chara?! What’s going on? We don’t have a car! _

**Undyne let me borrow hers. She doesn’t ask questions and won’t tell mom.**

_ Do you know how to drive?! _

**I’m doing decently well.**

_ Chara. Chara. _

**Frisk. Trust me.**

Overwhelmed, you stop pushing.

The next time you can see clearly again, the first thing in front of your face is a yellow flower. You shoot up and look around desperately, a nonexistent breeze chilling you to the bone. This is where you first woke up, all those years ago. Where you landed after jumping into a hole in the top of the mountain. You’re shaking.

Did Chara reset? No. No, that power is yours and yours alone. Did you _ die? _ They were driving recklessly, so maybe, _ maybe, _ but no. No, you would’ve returned to your last save. Two days ago.

You grip the flowers and try not to scream. Your heart feels like it’s going to beat out of your chest. You can’t go through this again, can’t dodge and spare and kill and die. Not now. Not ever. Never again.

_ Chara? _

You nervously call to them. There has to be some explanation for this, for why you’re suddenly back again in the Underground. You don’t want to do this again. You’ve played through this so many times that it hurts.

**Sorry. Um, I meant to say something. But I got distracted.**

_ What’s going on? _

**Don’t fret. I drove us here. Sorry, I meant to tell you, but… **

_ But? _

**I’m buried here. And… and I kept thinking, if… if I dug up the flowers, I…**

_ Chara. Don’t unearth your own corpse. For my sake if not your own. _

**Yeah. That wasn’t why I took us here. That’d be a pretty shitty birthday present for myself.**

_ It would. ...Chara? Why come back? _

Chara responds by using your vocal chords. “Asriel?”

And then it falls into place in one ugly moment. You grip your throat, but Chara wrenches your hands off and cups them around your mouth, yelling this time, “Asriel!”

_ You can’t be- _

**Serious? Shut up. Shut up and trust me.**

_ You won’t like what you find. _

Chara doesn’t reply to that. They just stare at the ground, anticipation becoming trepidation. Then, the earth trembles, and a golden flower emerges from the dirt. At first he looks confused, then annoyed.

“Frisk? Why the hell are you back?”

Chara sighs. “Frisk doesn’t talk.”

_ Yes I do. _

**Not out loud.**

_ I do sometimes. _

**When was the last time?!**

_ A while ago. You were asleep. _

Chara grumbles something that’s just a bit too quiet to actually make out. 

“My question stands, Chara,” Asriel says.

“It’s my birthday,” Chara replies, “I wanted to see you.”

Asriel stares at them flatly. “That’s stupid. You’re stupid.”

Chara frowns. “Asriel…”

“Don’t call me that,” he says, “I’m Flowey. Flowey the flower.”

_ I said you wouldn’t- _

**Don’t. Please. Not now.**

You shut up and let Chara hurt themselves. It hurts you too, it stings so bad that tears nearly well in your eyes, but you know it’s worse for them. For them, this is like having a knife driven into their chest.

“I missed you,” is all they managed to get out.

Asriel - _ Flowey, _you desperately correct - just sighs. “Why? There’s nothing to miss. I’m just a soulless little flower that kills anyone it doesn’t like.”

Chara says, “You’re my brother. And it’s my birthday. You’re supposed to spend occasions like this with your family.”

“Then crawl back out of the Underground and leave me alone!” Flowey snaps, “We’re not family! You’re just a stupid human child!”

“Asriel-”

“I’m _not_ Asriel,” Flowey snaps, and a series of thorny vines shoot up from the ground, ensnaring your body. You struggle, the thorns slicing at your skin, when Chara whips out a knife and cuts right through the restraints.

_ WHERE DID YOU GET A KNIFE. _

**Kitchen.**

_ CHARA. _

Flowey stares, then starts to laugh. “Wow! You really haven’t changed, huh? In the end, we’re both still the same!”

Chara spits on the ground. “No. You haven’t changed. I have, because I was stupid enough to come back here and talk to you.”

“You’ve always been stupid,” Flowey says, “Why did you want to talk to me again? Were my petals just that tempting?”

Chara shakes their head. “I told you. It’s my birthday.”

Flowey doesn’t say anything for a minute. Then, he glares at the both of you. “Happy birthday. Never come back.” With that, he disappears back into the soil.

Chara drops to the ground, tears burning in your eyes.

_ Are you okay? _

**What the hell do you think.**

_ I just thought I’d ask. _

**I know. I know. You’re too nice for your own fucking good.**

_ Chara… _

**Stop. Let’s go back now. Mom’s probably worried.**

_ Okay. Do you want me to do it? _

**Please.**

You get up and trudge to the barrier. Chara is crying in the back of your shared head, frustrated. You wish you knew how to console them, but any sympathy right now will just make them angrier.

Finding Undyne’s car isn’t too difficult, but that’s where the easiness stops. You don’t know how to drive. You can’t even fake drive like Chara does. You rustle around for your phone and find it in the glove compartment. Flicking it on makes you wince.

Thirty-two missed calls and sixteen texts from Toriel. Four missed calls from Undyne. Forty-eight missed texts from Alphys, seven from Papyrus, and three from Mettaton. Then four calls from Monster Kid, eleven from Asgore, and one from Sans.

_ Oh no. _

**Fuck. Fuck, fuck. Fuck.**

_ Not helping. _

**You think I don’t know that?! Fuck, fuck… Oh god.**

_ What should I do? _

**Call Mom before she does something stupid like call the police.**

_ Okay. Can you talk to her, or…? _

**I’ll deal. Dial.**

Toriel picks up immediately. “Where are you?! My child, I have searched desperately and contacted everyone, but you managed to disappear with hardly a trace!”

“I’m sorry,” Chara says, coughing into your sleeve. “I’m sorry. I’m… I’m at the base of Mount Ebott. I’m sorry. I forgot something. I… It would’ve been a burden to make someone come with me.”

Toriel nearly sobs into the receiver. “I thought you were in mortal danger! Frisk, never do anything so dangerous ever again. I will be with you shortly, and when we return home, you are grounded for a week.”

Yeah. Sounds right.

“Sorry, Mom,” Chara mumbles, “I understand.”

**I didn’t think this would happen.**

_ I’m not mad at you. _

**Thanks. Hopefully it won’t be too bad.**

_ It’ll be okay. You’ll probably enjoy yourself… No bingo with Papyrus. _

**But you like that. And I like when you’re happy.**

_ ...Chara… _

The conversation ends there, because you see a flash of blue light, and poke your head out the window. Toriel and Sans are standing just a few feet away.

**Oh god. Frisk, you need to-**

_ I got it. Just be quiet and he won’t suspect a thing. _

You slowly get out of the car and approach them. Toriel runs up and hugs you so tight you feel like you might suffocate. 

“My dear child…” she whispers, and you know she’s not really upset. Just worried.

Once she lets go, and oxygen returns to your lungs, Sans raises an eyebrow, “what was so important that you took undyne’s car to get back?”

You rustle around in your pockets and, praise whatever higher power there may be, produce a tiny key chain of a cat. You really did lose it for a while, but found it under the couch cushions a couple days ago.

_ “I thought I might have left this in the Ruins. I was right.” _You hope your hands aren’t shaking too much as you sign.

“You are hurt,” Toriel says softly, noticing the scratches from Flowey’s thorns.

_ “Tripped. It doesn’t sting anymore.” _

Toriel takes this well and casts a bit of healing magic. Sans doesn’t say anything, but you can both feel it. Chara’s radiating fear strong enough to make a cow keel over.

He knows you’re lying.

Being grounded by Toriel isn’t so bad. She drives you to and from school to make sure there are no detours, and limits your time on your phone. It’s hardly even a punishment; you never have to worry about missing the bus, and you actually get more sleep.

Your friends visit, though not as often as they would normally, and you still have butterscotch and cinnamon pie after dinner. It’s hardly difficult.

In fact, you barely notice when the grounding is lifted, except you’re suddenly able to stream Mew Mew with Alphys again. And that’s pretty cool. You’re way more invested in the plot then you ever thought you would be. Even Chara is starting to come around to it.

The problem is Alphys, though. You like her a lot. She’s funny and likes a lot of the same stuff you do, and is always willing to make time to chat about even the most mundane things. Chara is terrified of her. For a perfectly logical reason of course, especially considering who the two of you just had an unfortunate reunion with. And that makes some things more difficult than they should be.

_ I think you should talk to her. _

**Easy for you to say.**

_ I think it would help! You could ask her all the stuff that keeps you up at night. _

**It’ll only make things worse. Besides, she’d want to know why ‘you’re’ asking.**

_ I’ll figure something out. Please? I think you two would be friends, otherwise… _

**Never happening.**

But Chara gives in at one point, and lets you guide them to the apartment she shares with Undyne. They’re trying not to panic in the back of your head, but it’s a start. You knock on the door and wait for it to open.

_ “Hey, Alphys! Can I come in?” _

Alphys looks surprised. “U-Um, of course! Er, Undyne’s out sparring w-with Papyrus, if you need to see her.”

_ “No, I came to see you. Is that okay?” _

Alphys nods. “Oh! Alright, um, come inside! Sorry, it’s a bit of a mess."

The apartment is no messier than your room. You all settle down in the living room, Alphys shifting uncomfortably. “Do you, um, want some tea?” she offers.

_ “Nah,” _ you sign, _ “Thanks, though.” _

Chara slowly eases up. You can feel them trying to find the words they need.

_ Want me to start? _

**No. I want to do it. He’s my brother.**

_ Okay. Whenever you’re ready. _

Chara takes a deep breath. “Alphys. This is… a sensitive question. But I… I need to know. I need to know about m- about. About an experiment.”

Alphys looks as uncomfortable as Chara feels. “Oh. O-Okay.”

“You… You injected determination into… You… The flower...” Chara is struggling to breathe.

_ Need help? _

**I said I wanted to do it.**

_ Sorry. Thought I’d ask. _

Chara whimpers as they try to continue. It looks like them and Alphys are going to sit here in awkward silence for a very long time. Then, Alphys clenches her claws, and speaks words that jab into you both sharper than any blade ever could.

“Don’t be shy. I’ll… I’ll tell you anything you want to know, Chara.”


End file.
